Have you ever had that feeling that time has slipped away? One minute you were 20 years old and starting in life with no worries, no commitments. Then within a blink of an eye, it’s midlife crisis time, you are over 50 and you have no idea where the time has gone.
Maybe you lie in bed at night and ask yourself what is the true meaning of life? Will my life always be like this? When will I have time to do what I truly want?
In the morning, when you wake another day continues, nothing changes. Many people only truly ‘wake up’ when something tragic happens. By which time it may be too late to find the answers to those deeper questions and start living the life you desire.
It does not have to be that way – you do not have to have a midlife crisis. Did you know you are the sum of your thoughts?
In all areas of your life, you create your reality. That which you give your attention to and focus on daily becomes the reality of your consciousness.
If you want to change something, you first have to acknowledge what needs to change. There are so many ways to do this, and herein lies the issue, just the thought of finding a direction for change can lead to overwhelm. Overwhelm in turn leads to procrastination. Nothing changes.
Rocking chairs and Regrets need not be synonymous.
All it takes are a few easy steps, a simple way of reflecting. Taking stock. Where you are right now and what needs to be dealt with. Then you can move forward and make the next stage of life, the best stage ever.
The Life Checklist For The Over 50’s
- Give focus to what is important
- Confirm areas of confidence
- Enable curiosity about areas for improvement
- Define specific tasks
- Create a holistic picture for the future
The Whole Table
We can use the analogy of a table to represent your Life Checklist. Your table is the foundation on which to place everything else you achieve. If your table is unbalanced with wobbly legs, your life will also be unbalanced. It will feel like a midlife crisis.
At Midlife it is the perfect time to strengthen your table before it is too late. Let’s break it down…
The Four Legs
Let’s talk about the four table legs first. (Health, finance, relationships and knowledge)
Just a few extra kilos, sitting an extra hour, drinking one more glass of wine all add up over the years. There is a simple way to measure how your lifestyle is affecting your health.
Waist to Height Ratio Calculator
Being honest with yourself is the key to health. It will give you a better chance of enjoying the second stage of your life to the full. Ask yourself do I daily…
- Eat healthy natural foods
- Exercise daily
- Sleep well
- Hydrate effectively
- Breathe correctly
- Meditate and journal
- Daily positive social interaction
- Avoid medicinal and recreative drugs including alcohol and tobacco
Regular annual medical checkups and screenings will also help to verify that you are doing the best you can. As science continues to evolve and breakthroughs appear you can take advantage. For example, we are now beginning to acknowledge that the stomach places an important part in health. A healthy gut will affect all areas of your life. You can have the gut biome tested here HERE
Taking stock of your finances is something everyone needs to do annually, quarterly and monthly, yet at 50 is also a good time to look at your finances concerning the next 50+ years. Small steps will always win over last-minute midlife crisis panic.
What will you need ready for retirement? When are you planning to retire? Have you taken into account inflation? Use this UK Pension Calculator to give you guidance.
It is worrying how many people do not have a simple breakdown of their monthly incomings and outgoings and do not think beyond today.
Today, an average UK citizen will need 25 years to pay off their credit card debt using minimum payments and including interest. Dealing with debt at 50 still allows you space to plan for retirement.
In a recent UK study, 45% of current retirees regret not saving more for retirement.
It is also important to have other paperwork in place – legally written will, a Living Will, lasting power of attorney and an end of life plan. Also think about your other accounts, particularly your online presence.
42% of people with a mortgage in the UK have no life insurance in place.
There is one commonality for all humans. At some time we will die. Having this paperwork in place will give you peace of mind and help your loved ones cope at this distressing time. Make sure they know where it is located. Many professionals can help you will all such paperwork
Finally, to maintain financial flow in your life it is important to give to others. You can support charities in two ways, your time or money. No matter how small your donation is, it stops the stagnancy of your money. That which you give comes back to you tenfold more often than not.
If you lose everything tomorrow what will you do? Who will you turn to for help? Which person will be able to offer you a bowl of soup, a roof over your head or introductions to employment or new clients? Who will you reach out to in your loneliest time? Who will save you from your midlife crisis?
Having a wide variety of relationships means that someone will be available when you need them. Everyone one has issues in their own lives, of your top 100 there will be only a fraction of people able to help you when you are in need.
We often leave relationships to chance. In an ever-connected world, we are not connected to anyone at all. Making connections takes time and effort. This valuable skill of connecting will overcome loneliness. Western Society has made many individuals so isolated it can feel like a huge mountain to climb. Yet it is a learned skill and anyone can do it when they know-how.
Take Karen for example, Karen was a stay at home mum brining up two boys until her husband became unfaithful. After divorce, Karen had to find herself. This meant reaching out to new people, to find those she resonated with. At first, it seemed an impossible task. How could she make new friends when she felt broken and betrayed?
Together we took time to focus on Karen’s strengths and skills. We used Facebook and her local community as a way to begin safe conversations. Within a space of just three weeks, Karen had the confidence to do the work alone.
“Thank you, Kay, I was so scared at first of being ‘out there’ now I know it is not such a scary place. Every day my confidence grows and I feel less and less intimidated. I am so happy to get out of bed every morning, knowing that I can do connect with other people. I no longer feel isolated and alone.”
Like Karen, many clients are scared of reaching out at first, until they have the simple tools needed. Book your 30 mins Midlife Strategy Session.
Remember that relationships are always a two-way experience. Who will you be there to support when they need you? Does this make you feel happy to know you are of service? if the answer is no, look for new relationships.
When you reach 50+ you have a great variety of skills, some of them you will take for granted unless you take an audit and acknowledge just how far you have come. Many of your skills you will not have learned at school or university. It does not make them less valuable unless you fail to acknowledge them.
Once you have your list of skills you can being see new possibilities. Perhaps a hobby that you would now like to change into a career. Once you have made this decision you may notice that you now have gaps in your knowledge. For example, starting a business and becoming a business owner are specific skills in their own right. You will be able to break down your learning tasks to fill in the gaps.
Now you can share your new skills and knowledge with others, providing you know how to package up your knowledge for others to want to buy it. This is going to be ever more important as we begin living in Society 5.0.
The Table Top – YOU
Now you have the table legs in place you can be to think about the biggest piece the tabletop – who are you?
For many, the cycle of leaving school starting a family, having kids and living in the rat race leaves them wondering who they are. Is there is more to life now the kids have left home? Have I really hit a midlife crisis?
It is the perfect time to get curious and reflect form where you have come and where you want to go in life. Daily meditation and use of a comprehensive journal will help create the focus needed to decide just how you want the next stage of your life to be.
Living the life you desire is possible when you know yourself intimately. If you would like to know more about the simple step-by-step process that allows you to breakdown the aspects of who you are, what you want and how to get there, book a Midlife Strategy session by clicking HERE.
SensiblySelfish time is when you make a daily effort to daily de-stress. Having space to do nothing allows you to connect to yourself on a deeper level.
Kay is The Midlife Strategist, an expert with 15 years experience, guiding men and women over 50+ to live the life of their dreams using simple down-to-earth techniques.
Find out more about your personal 50+ Life Checklist and how to avoid a midlife crisis, book a Midlife Strategy Session here: https://meetme.so/KayNewton